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Cyrus Chicanery
I'd been seeing this stash of Transformers on the top shelf in the toy isle at Wal-mart (Elm Road) for a while.  Last month, Jer was there with me so I had him jump up there and grab some.  When he pulled the first one down, I was shocked... Scout-class two packs of first series figures from the Cybertron line!  Of course I had him retrieve every single one from all the way up there. 

I spent a lot of time thinking about which ones I was gonna get, 'cause I was really poor at the moment.  Eventually I decided to go ask one of the cashiers if she could run a price check for me.  Again, I was totally shocked when she told me how much they were...

Scout-class figures are about seven or eight dollars retail.  Since these were two packs I thought they'd be anywhere from 12 to 16 bux...  But I was wrong, because they were only five dollars each O_o 

"Umm... I'm gonna go get some more."  That's what I said, trying to walk away as calmly as I could, lest Wal-mart discover the massive error in price before I could get as many of them out the door as I possible could.  It was all I could do to keep a straight face.

I ended up getting four of the two-packs.  Each figure only cost me $2.50...   I robbed Wal-mart blind ^_^

NOTES:  I like motorcycles ^_^  I wanted this guy 'cause he's partners with the figure Andrew got me for my birthday.

CHARACTER: Undermine
NOTES:  I like dinosaurs too ^_^  I got two of this guy that day so I kept one in the package.  He works under one of my favorite characters from the new show, Scourge.


Cyrus Chicanery
11 August 2006 @ 02:29 pm
I just saw the most beautiful girl in the world.  I was looking through the Transformers at Wal-mart, and this slender hand reached past me and started plucking Star Wars figures offa the shelf.  I didn't think anything of it, and just went to put another Decepticon in the buggy...  When I came back for one last look at the shelves,  that's when I saw her.

She was small and thin.  Delicate.  Pale.  Her black hair was cut short, and she had a super tight shirt on which made her gorgeous bust even more so.

Gawd Damn. 

I don't usually get like this... but this girl...

I saw her again later.  She was pushing her cart through the grocery isles, with this mean-ass look on her face.  That's how I look whenever I'm somewhere by myself.  I've  pushed my cart through those isles many a time wearing that same exact look...

She looked at me but I just kept on walking.

Cyrus Chicanery
10 August 2006 @ 08:59 pm
Ohio minister, wife, busted on kiddie porn charges.

"David Waser, former pastor of Newark's Second Church of Christ, also said he had exposed himself to children at church camp and pretended it was an accident, Inspector Marty Arthur said in federal court Wednesday. Both Waser and his wife, Judy, have been charged with receiving and possessing videotapes of child pornography."

What the hell is it with Jesus worshipers lusting after small children.   Maybe I just missed the part in the bible where Jesus rapes a bunch of kids...


U.S. Lags World in Grasp of Genetics and Evolution

"Among the factors contributing to America's low score are poor understanding of biology, especially genetics, the politicization of science and the literal interpretation of the Bible by a small but vocal group of American Christians, the researchers say.

“American Protestantism is more fundamentalist than anybody except perhaps the Islamic fundamentalist, which is why Turkey and we are so close,” said study co-author Jon Miller of Michigan State University."

Holy crap!  Only Turkey ranked lower?!  That's some fucked up shit... So many of you out there would like to pull us back into the dark ages.  It's sad...


Clergy wants cash machines installed in churches.

"He said his idea was inspired by medieval times when churches were used for a range of activities."

Like I said, they want it back the way it was in the dark ages...

Yeah, and I bet the day after one gets installed he suggests bigger collection plates too...


"Infidel" text banned in Kentucky schools

"Under state statute, "no book or other publication of a sectarian, infidel or immoral character, or that reflects on any religious denomination, shall be used or distributed in any common school."

The law also prohibits schools from teaching "sectarian, infidel, or immoral doctrine."

The state's book ban does not apply to the Bible. Kentucky courts have ruled that the Christian and Hebrew scriptures are not sectarian."

Well, of course the Bible isn't banned...  It's got the deitys the lawmakers worship, so of course it's okay.  (Even though it'd be rated NC-17 if it were a movie, and it's the only piece of media that has fans who develope a penchant for baby raping, and starting wars.)  What happened to free speech?


Preacher wins money in free speech law suit

"While on campus, Bowman preached outside the Student Union. Witnesses in a trial on his lawsuit said Bowman had called students "sluts," "whores," and "fags" and told them they were going to hell because they participated in fraternities and sororities."

Oh yeah, that's what happened to free speech!  You only get that right if you're christian, and what you have to say is the same ignorant shit as the vast majority of this poor excuse for a nation.  I wonder how much of that money he's going to give to charity?  I mean, after his trip to Taiwan to have sex with young male prostitutes...


Cyrus Chicanery

PRICE: $50
LOCATION: The Toys R' Us in Niles
NOTES:  The God of all Transformers!  His alternate mode is the planet Cybertron itself!

  Pros: + This guy is huge
+ His eyes light up
+ He makes a lot of sounds
+ Fully articulated Fingers.  That means I can pose him flicking people off ^_^
+ Can hold mini-con figures
+ Just looks freakin' awesome

Cons: - Expensive
- You have to use a key (The Omega Lock) to transform him
- His third form, a battle base, is just the figure transformed half-way...

CHARACTER: Excellion
PRICE: $10
LOCATION: The Toys R' Us in Niles
NOTES:  A repaint of the Hot Shot figure, made to look like the old Hot Rod figure from back in the day.  I picked him up on the same trip I got Primus.

  Pros: + Better paint job than Hot Shot
+ Easy Transformation
+ I like the translucent blue plastic : )
+ Looks bad ass in both forms

Cons: none

PRICE: $10 retail, but for me it was FREE
LOCATION: The Wal-mart in Middlefield
NOTES:  My grandma bought me this figure because I'm so poor : (

Pros: + Looks great in both modes
+ Changeable hand tools
+ One of the main characters on the show
+ More translucent plastic, and this time it's red ^_^
+ Fairly show accurate from what I can tell
+ It was FREE

Cons: - Was kinda hard to transform at first
Cyrus Chicanery
05 August 2006 @ 06:35 pm
“Religious controversies are always productive of more acrimony and irreconcilable hatreds than those which spring from any other cause. I had hoped that liberal and enlightened thought would have reconciled the Christians so that their [not our?] religious fights would not endanger the peace of Society.”  -George Washington

Ohio man claims it's his religious right to have sex with little boys.

"The admitted pedophile offered a surprising defense Wednesday to 74 charges of rape, drugs and pandering obscenity to minors."

"He told the judge, "I'm a pedophile. I've been a pedophile for 20 years. The only reason I'm charged with rape is that no one believes a child can consent to sex. The role of my ministry is to get these cases out of the courtrooms.""


More kiddie rape from our Christian friends.

"Authorities raided the Christ of the Hills Monastery last week in search of "instruments of child abuse," Blanco County District Attorney Sam Oatman said.

The four monks, plus another serving a 10-year prison sentence for indecency with a minor, were arrested and indicted after a young man claimed he had been assaulted at the monastery beginning in 1993, when he was in his teens. Oatman said another accuser has come forward, and others could follow."


Church launches battle against rap music.

"A fight over rap music is heating up as some parents say the hip hop culture is a bad influence on their children and they're making their message heard at an Arlington church. Hundreds met at Cornerstone Baptist Church in Arlington to destroy mountains of rap music and piles of hip hop paraphernalia."

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.  If they wanna destroy any media full of violence, stupidity, and misogyny against women, then they should start by destroying all their bibles before they steam roll those albums.  As much as I hate rap, at least it's never been the cause of a war... yeah, I'm lookin' at you Mr. Middle East!


Rabbi claims current Israel vs. Hezbollah skirmish the result of Israeli women being too damn sexy!  Also, claims that all the world was created for Israel, and that all of human history plays out just to elevate the Jewish people.

" Regarding the dangerous consequences of immorality to the Jewish Nation, the sages of the Kabbalah emphasize that, to a very great measure, the tribulations we suffer, both individually and nationally, stem from sexual transgression"

" His understanding evolves from the viewpoint that all of world history is subordinate to the development process of the Jewish People. Our sages teach that the world was created for Israel. From this perspective, international upheavals like wars come to advance the redemption of the Jewish People."


Heat makes Pat Robertson a Global Warming "convert"

"Conservative Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson said on Thursday the wave of scorching temperatures across the United States has converted him into a believer in global warming."

"...Robertson said natural disasters affecting the globe, including hurricanes Katrina and Rita that wrecked the U.S. Gulf Coast, might be signs that the biblical apocalypse was nearing."

So Pat here thinks it's too hot, and now believes in Global Warming.  Yet he still ignores the last 1,000 years of evidence disproving his psychotic religious beliefes.  Maybe someone should go to his place and smack him in the face with a science book...

Cyrus Chicanery
31 July 2006 @ 09:30 pm
"I believe in God, only I spell it nature." - Frank Lloyd Wright

Get 'em when they're young!  Museum uses the bible to teach earth's history to unwitting children.

"John Morris, president of the Institute for Creation Research in San Diego, an organization that promotes creationism, said the museum will affirm the doubts many people have about science, namely the notion that man evolved from lower forms of life.

"Americans just aren't gullible enough to believe that they came from a fish," he said."

But apparently, they're gullible enough to believe that a giant bearded man in a toga made them outa clay.


Giant Dinosaur Discovered in Argentina.

"Most impressive is a back vertebra that measures 3.48 feet (1.06 meters) tall and 5.51 feet (1.68 meters) wide, according to Fernando Novas. The paleontologist announced the find at the Argentine Museum of Natural Sciences in Buenos Aires on July 21."

I kinda feel bad for Noah.  I mean, it must have been a bitch to get two of those things on the ark!


Let's get serious for a second... only the creators of Robot Chicken know what really happened with Noah's Ark.


Ban on satellite dish religious discrimination, man says.

""The bylaw has a discriminating effect in that it prevents him from receiving Arabic and Muslim language and programming essential for his religion and his family," said Jennifer Ross, Assal's lawyer."

"A human rights board of inquiry will hear the case next week."

Yeah!  You know what else?  I shouldn't have to wake up at 6 am to watch Transformers!  Who do I sue?!

Why doesn't this guy just go back to sand land where just about every channel is Islamic brainwashing?  Oh yeah, 'cause then he'd have to put up with real human rights violations...


The Flying Spaghetti Monster gets a lot of hate mail.

"hey,u know what none cares Wat u think about God's sense of humor,u know what u may not be christian but,there's lot of people out there trying 2 seek God n they don't need any info, about God by u so,i think it will b better if u stop n start acting more like a christian even if u r not ."

"I do believe you are a fucking retard and I hope you burn in hell. Fuck you and the flying spaghetti monster."

"This Flying Spaghetti Monster is the biggest pile of horse shit i have ever heard in my entire life."

"your a fuckin faggot and burn in hell. if i knew you personally id slit your throat and watch you suffer as i laugh and do a fat cocaine like off of your dead body. I would then light you on fire, light my cigerette off of the ashes, smoke weed with the fire and piss on the ashes. then i would take your ashes roll them into a blunt and smoke them. i hope you fuckin burn in hell along with everyother piece of shit on this planet."

This is funny... people are pissed off because they think the idea of a pasta monster creating the universe is ridiculous.  Though most of these people think that it's perfectley logical to think that an invisible diety waved his hand and with it came the whole of existence... and they will fucking kill you if you say otherwise! 


Funeral Picketers Sued by Marine's Dad

"But the peace was disrupted by protests from members of the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas. In a cordoned-off area by the entrance to the cemetery, they carried signs with anti-gay and anti-American slogans and proclaimed that Ewens' death in Afghanistan on June 16 was another sign of God's impeding doom on the nation. "

Pretty soon these people are gonna be too broke to travel around the country and protest.  First Phelps gets a $5000 bill for requesting security and not showing up, then this happens.  He's probly gonna have to get a bigger collection plate...

Hey, June 16th is my birthday!  What is up with my b-day and people saying stuff about impending doom ^_^


Cyrus Chicanery

The Original Predaking Artwork.

Predaking kicking some autobot ass from the comics.

The actual figures, sans their stickers.

CHARACTERS: The Predacons.  Razorclaw, Divebomb, Headstrong, Rampage, and Tantrum.  They combine to form Predaking.
PRICE: $200 ($150 for the set, $50 for shipping)
LOCATION: E-bay.  Specifically, Malaysia
NOTES:  My grandpa bought me two of these when I was really young, and I always wanted the whole set so I could transform them into Predaking.  Then I grew up... When I got back into Transformers, it took me months to even find any info on the original figures/characters.  I started to think I had imagined the whole thing... but then not only did I find out I wasn't crazy, but that Takara had just reissued all five figures!  I couldn't pass up the chance to finally have them all, so a trip to E-bay ensued.  These are the center piece of my current collection, and they hold a lot of sentimental value for me.

  Pros: + They're a piece of my childhood reclaimed
+ They're not just made of plastic, but include many die-cast metal parts
+ I never had all five of any combiners when I was a kid, but now I do ^_^
+ Tons of weapons. Each robot came with a sword and a couple guns.  Three of the figures even have extra guns for their beast forms.
+ Ultra Easy Transformations
+ The box has all the original artwork on it
+ All the figures have special stickers that you can rub to see what faction they belong to. (Which I totally forgot old transformers had until I got these.)
+They combine to form one of the most bad ass transformers ever made- Predaking!
+ They all just look so damn awesome

Cons: - Expensive!  I dropped $200 on the unopened box set.  Most places on the internet have an asking price of around $300, but some are asking as much as $500 for it!
- Razorclaw's arms are too short ; p

Cyrus Chicanery
27 July 2006 @ 04:19 pm
I start my job tonight.  For anyone not in the know, I'm the newest vassal toiling under his majesty The Burger King.

I'm gonna have to take some new pics since I had to cut my hair and stay clean shaven.  Might as well keep things current even though I think only about five people look at this.

Wisdom for the Day: 
How many times do I have to be right before people start to listen?
  If you don't like the answers, then don't ask the questions.
Cyrus Chicanery

PRICE: $10
LOCATION: The Toys R' Us in Niles
NOTES:  This figure is a repaint of Thundercracker.  I picked it up towards the middle of this month, but I'm a bit behind in my figure postings.

 Pros: + Better paint job than Thundercracker
+ Looks like a real jet in vehicle mode
+ For some reason, I really like his head sculpt
+ Easy transformation

Cons: - The figure is a little flimsy
- Has a little trouble standing on his own

CHARACTER: Vector Prime (Legends)
LOCATION: The Toys R' Us in Niles
NOTES:  Since this is the Legends version of the character, it's actually a super tiny mold of the original figure.  Picked this up on the same trip I got Skywarp.

 Pros: + It's Vector Prime! One of my favorite characters!
+ Ultra easy transformation

Cons: - I will probly never find the full sized figure...

CHARACTER: Demolishor
PRICE: $10
LOCATION: The Wal-mart in Middlefield
NOTES:  A reissue of the original Armada sculpt, with a new paint job.  He doesn't have a key port, but instead comes with a specialized cyber key that works with his original mini-con function.  And yes, that is how you spell his name.

 Pros: + Looks great in robot mode and vehicle mode...
+ ...and his third mode, a gun turret, is pretty kewl too
+ Fires two missiles at a time!
+ Easy transformation

Cons: - The missiles in his right shoulder don't fire : (
- His paint job is kinda ugly...

Cyrus Chicanery
23 July 2006 @ 05:46 am

What is your favorite video game of all time and why?  Chrono Trigger for SNES.  It was an amazing game, and they just don’t make them like that anymore.  The music, the art, the story- they were all so stunning and beautiful, plus it had time travel!  (I am a sucker for anything with time travel in it.)

If Tucan Sam and Trix the Rabbit had a kid what would it look like and what would the cereal be called?  Gary Coleman.  The cereal would be called Mutant-O’s.

What is the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about before you go to bed?  First thing I think of when I wake up: “ugh, I need coffee and a cigarette… ::sigh::” Last thing I think about before going to bed: “Gawd, I’m so fucking hor ney…  Someone needs to have sex with me!  Why doesn’t anyone wanna have sex with me?”

What do you see when you look in the mirror?  The body I’m stuck in. The outside so doesn’t match the inside… like the Tardis!

What would be your ideal way to kill someone?  Probly some elaborate torture contraption ala SAW. 

 INSTRUCTIONS: 01. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me." 02. l
respond by asking you five questions of a very intimate and creepily
personal nature. Or not so creepy/personal. 03. You WILL update your LJ
with the answers to the questions. 04. You will include this explanation
and an offer to interview someone else in the post. 05. When others
comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Cyrus Chicanery
16 July 2006 @ 11:42 pm
Went and got a job.  Had to cut my hair.

That is all.
Cyrus Chicanery

CHARACTER: Soundwave
PRICE: $20
LOCATION: The Wal-mart on Elm Road
NOTES:  Picked this guy up a couple of weeks ago.  It was the night I stole my brother's car so that me and Cindy could go drink coffee at Perkins ^_^  When I was a kid, this Decepticon used to transform into a boom box.  I never had the old one, but I had a few of the cassette characters you could stick in him.  My little brother put them in our real cassette player, which they fell into, and I never saw them again... what a jerk!

 Pros: + Lots of weapons
+ The purple translucent plastic rocks
+ Comes with Laserbeak as a minicon
+Looks great in Robot mode!

+ A classic character reborn!

Cons: -The ball joint on his head is kinda loose
-The transformation into vehicle mode is tough, and I don't think I've gotten it completely right yet...
- He's the first 20 dollar figure I've gotten that doesn't make any sounds... and his name is SOUNDwave.  What gives?

PRICE: $10
LOCATION: The Wal-mart in Middlefield
NOTES:  Got him about a week after Soundwave

 Pros: + Looks good in Robot mode and Vehicle mode
+ Has silver paint on the end of the shovel to make it look scratched up.  Nice touch.
+ Came with a free Tin and Minicon
+ Easy Transformation
+ Show accurate, except for...

Cons: - In the cartoon, and on the box art, the blades that come out of his wheels are red... but the ones on the actual figure are grey.

Cyrus Chicanery

CHARACTER: Regenerator (Variant)
PRICE: $13
LOCATION: The Eastwood Mall/Suncoast
NOTES:  Another RE4 figure.  This one is actually a super rare variant.  It only comes one to every five cases.  The price on the internet is already up to $40, and it just came out.  Too bad I didn’t know all that before I opened it ^_^

 Pros: +It’s translucent green, bitches, like you’re looking at it through the thermal scope on your sniper rifle!
+The spines are actually sharp to the touch!
+Super Rare Variant figure, and I have one! (Jealous…?)

Cons: none

PRICE: $13
LOCATION: The Eastwood Mall/Suncoast
NOTES:  I knew the second series of RE4 figures were out, but I didn’t think I’d ever see them around here.  Suncoast had the whole set, so there was no way I was leaving without a couple.

Pros: +Great Sculpt
+Great Paint Job
+Comes with his signature knife!

Cons: -Limited Articulation detracts from the figure slightly
-Not entirely game accurate, but pretty damn close.

CHARACTER: Thunderblast
LOCATION: The Elm Road Wal-mart
NOTES: Another female transformer.  I got a dollar off with Cindy’s employee discount.  This one was on my list of figures to get.

Pros: +Looks awesome in Robot Mode AND Vehicle mode
+Very show accurate
+Easy Transformation
+I love her rocket luancher

Cons: none

Cyrus Chicanery
30 June 2006 @ 05:19 am
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
-Mohandas Gandhi

For your viewing pleasure...

"Thank god for 9/11!"


She has eight sons?!

Also, be sure to visit their web site at godhatesfags.com